Sunday, June 17, 2012

A Father's Dream - Redefined

Society gives you this little box.  Its all wrapped up in this perfect little pink or blue bow.  The problem is, inside that box is everything that society deems "ideal".  Anything not in that box just isn't really acceptable.   

You can't help but get wrapped up in the hype.  In our case, our little blue box was filled with dirt bikes, football, skateboards, drums and guitars.  Its all we talked about.  BJ is so full of life... and so willing to share that life with everyone - especially kids.  I'll never forget the first time I saw him with kids... the way he interacts with them... it really is ALL about the kids.  I know he wanted so badly to be able to share that with his little boy.  




I remember when the doctor told us originally.  Maybe all we heard were the worst things... maybe she just really wanted to give us the worst possible news and work her way down from there.  I just remember her being so ... cold... about it all.  I remember thinking that it was like she was just talking about a picture on the screen... and maybe to her that's all it was.  Hearing that "he may not be able to walk" and that due to the fluid on his brain, "there will be developmental issues".  Every time BJ would ask, is there any chance it isn't that bad... all I could hear her say is, "It's bad... it's definitely not good".  

I remember looking at BJ, watching him take in the news, and seeing all the dreams he had just disappear in an instant.  I felt like I had failed. Like for some reason it was all my fault.  I couldn't give him the perfect little box with the perfect blue bow that he deserved.  

I've since come to realize that we are not a perfect little box with a perfect blue bow kinda family.  In fact... as far as a "normal" family goes... we are about as FAR from it as you can get!!!

 




Our little box may not be the ideal little box with the perfect little blue bow... but who wants that?!  Instead, our little box is brightly colored, oddly shaped, and the bow probably doesn't match.  In other words... it's perfect for us!!  


For those of you who know BJ... you know that he is about as broken as they come.  All those dreams of football, skateboarding and dirt bikes have certainly taken their toll on his poor body.  Needless to say... his box is busted up, his bow has been ripped to shreds... and he is just perfect.  

Today was father's day.  And I don't think BJ could have been any happier.  Seeing him so exited just makes me so happy to be able to share this little box with him.  



And daddy's dreams... they aren't gone after all.  They've just shifted focus a little.  

I'm such a lucky girl... 


1 comment:

  1. Beautiful post. Have you read the poem Welcome to Holland? If you haven't...
    http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html

    ReplyDelete