When the house is quiet, my mind wanders. Back to the beginning. I can't believe what an emotional road this has been so far. If someone had told me I'd have gone through this a year ago, I'd have thought they were crazy. I always admired people with "special needs" kids. I KNEW I didn't have the strength to do what they did. I could never understand how it was that those people were some of the happiest people I had ever met. Nothing seemed to get them down.
When we were given the news that day I thought my whole world was coming to an end. Your baby will never walk. He may be a vegetable. Terminate. So overwhelming. Every time I think about it I get emotional. I still don't feel like any of this is real. You become so used to everything that I supposed in a way you get desensitized to the reality of the situation.
People ask me how we do it. How do we just take everything in stride? My answer is, how do you not? You'd be surprised what you can accomplish with a positive attitude. We have learned to look beyond what the doctors say. Instead of seeing problems, we create a solution. Rather than brand him with limitations, we set new goals to accomplish. We refuse to let him be bound by the "rules" of medicine. There are no finite rules after all... only opinions based on other people. In MY opinion, my son will make you eat your words!
And those parents who were so unexplainably happy... well... I've become one of them. It is absolutely amazing how much happier you become when you start to focus on the small things in life. The ones that are most important. The little things become so much bigger when you take the time to realize you only get this moment once. I've decided that I am making the most of the time we have. It makes no sense to rush through life only to get to the end and die realizing that you spent your whole life worrying about things that didn't matter. I don't want to cheat myself or my kids out of the most amazing life possible. You only get one shot. Don't waste it on things and people that don't matter.
I am going to be focusing on advocating and awareness... not just for Spina Bifida but for life. I'll tell our story to a thousand people because I know that one out of that thousand will take something away from it. If we can help ONE family and save ONE baby's life from being "terminated"... then we have done our job. Don't let someone say you can't. Don't let a doctor say you won't. Be the exception... No limits people... only goals.