Mom knows best... Candy Cane Christmas

So it's true.  Everyone said "You'll know" when something just isn't right with Dryden.  And, even though I thought I was CRAZY and paranoid, I just knew something wasn't right.  It was the most minor something too... I'm sure I sounded quite nuts trying to explain it to the admit ER pediatrician.

Me:               He shows NO symptoms of a shunt malfunction, but it malfunctioned. 

Doctor:         Is he vomiting?

Me:               No. 

Doctor:         Is he sleeping a lot? 

Me:               ... no... 

Doctor:         Is he unusually cranky?  Appetite ok?

Me:              No... he's fine... eating fine.  

Doctor:        So... what exactly made you bring him in?  

Me:             I can see the veins in his head more than usual... and he just seems to stare off into space this afternoon.  

Doctor:       ... ok... well, mom usually knows best!

So... here we are... waiting for surgery.  And you know what?  No matter how many times I hear that word... it never gets easier!  They keep telling me its "no big deal" its "routine".  Well, I'm sorry for getting a little emotional but you are about to cut my baby's head open... that isn't "no big deal" to ME!

It makes me laugh - you can tell that some of the doctors definitely have no kids... she was trying to calm Dryden down and asked for "one of those things that goes in their mouth" ... yeahhhhhh... I thought everyone know what a pacifier, or binky, or nuk was... I was WRONG!!!!

It seems as though my little buddy is going to have a nice little candy cane on his head for Christmas this year.  :)  That's what we said when he had the surgery the last time... it looked like a candy cane.  Wow... he looks so different now.  :)

I'm trying to joke to keep me from crying.  I really am trying to be strong.  I just feel really helpless.  I can't do anything.  :(  Worst feeling in the world.

I'll go for now.  Fingers crossed everyone.  Thanks for all the love and support.  We all truly appreciate it.